Thursday, August 5, 2010

Who Hasn't Wanted To Sell Their Brother or Sister into Slavery From Time to Time?

I don't want to say that selling your irritating younger brother is ever the answer, but, well, you can kind of see where Joseph's brothers are coming from. Joseph is the latest in a long line of Favorite Younger Sons, except instead of one slighted older brother, Joseph has ten. They put up with him for seventeen years, I guess out of pity since his mother dies in childbirth when he's a kid, but after a certain point enough is enough.

For example, they are all shepherds together, and even though his brothers have been doing it a lot longer, Joseph still finds some fault to tell their father about. When I was a small favorite child and I tattled, I got a time-out. Joseph gets a flamboyant cloak.

As if Jacob's Israel's blatant favoritism weren't bad enough, Joseph spends the next few mornings going, "Guys! I had this crazy dream last night which was a thinly veiled metaphor about how everyone in the world will one day bow down to me, ESPECIALLY YOU TEN!" The brothers briefly consider killing Joseph, but decide to sell him to the Ishmaelites instead. That they are Ishmaelites is mentioned a lot, so I guess it is a big deal-I guess those shunned firstborn kin have to stick together?

The brothers return home, with Joseph's stupid coat clawed to bits and covered in blood, and they convince their father Joseph has been eaten by a lion. If they thought Joseph's untimely death would aid in getting their father to love them more and Joseph less, chalk one more up in the Inbreeding PSA column.


  1. Joseph was a smug little bastard. I don't blame the brothers one bit.

  2. Joseph really was a bit of a twat wasn't he. He totally asked for it:

  3. God must be against me because I can't get the following to post. You might get it three times, or you might not get it all, but here goes attempt number three. Do I hear a four?

    Well, it just goes to show that if you have god on your side, you don't have to play nice to win. In a similar vein, how about the warm welcome that prodigal son fellow got when he came back home? While he was getting drunk at the feast daddy gave for him and his assuredly lowlife friends, his older brother was no doubt out getting drunk alone.

  4. Oh my god, I love the Joseph story. THE DREAMS ARE THE BEST PART. Dude, have you seen the ALW musical about this? Because it's hilarious and great and Joseph is DONNY OSMOND.